My 2014

2014 really was a pretty big and important year for me. I had to grow up in a lot of substantial ways.

It was the first time I've ever lived alone and was fully financially responsible for everything in my life.

It was the second time I ever had to leave a home of sorts.

And it was the year I found one of those incredible, poetic and novel-worthy loves.

In hindsight, it's always been the challenging times where I've actually thrived. Where I look back on all of it and think "That was an adventure that felt like a nightmare" I think most parts of this year felt that way because the foreign concept of all of the experiences was absolutely terrifying.

Living alone has taught me a great deal; most importantly that I actually can do it. I don't even like the idea of sleeping alone. Much less sleeping without someone in the house. And definitely not knowing that I may never go to sleep with someone in the house ever again. What if there are ghosts?!?

But I did learn to go to sleep alone... I actually learned how to be good at that a long time ago. You just get a dog that will cuddle.

And I learned how to go to sleep without anyone in the house. You buy a machete from RenFest, a door chime from Walmart and you grow a pair of balls after a while that end up being so substantial that you no longer need the door chime and sometimes you even forget to lock the door. And, if you get afraid of ghosts, Gilmore Girls will usually scare them away.

Now I'm actually pretty good at living alone. I enjoy what little time I have to reflect in silence. I make sure to give Sam lots of attention. And I can be totally gross and eat stuff that falls on my shirt and no one will judge me for just saying 'fuck' it and leaving it there.

So, yeah. Fear conquered and personal growth acquired.

Leaving my first real big-girl job was a little more difficult. The Gilmore Girls couldn't really do much for me with that. I was making less than an assistant manager at a gas station and the company was no longer going in the direction that I had been passionate about. Literally and figuratively. The office was moving further away and I couldn't afford to work there anymore.

Leaving there was like leaving home and family. Because I spent enough time in that office to call it home and the people inside were family in my eyes. It was very difficult to let go and think about how I wouldn't see them every day. Wouldn't have time for happy hours anymore. Wouldn't have the delicious meat wraps from the office building cafe.

Luckily I walked into a great group of people at my new job. I managed to keep contact from time to time with my old friends and make some new ones. I've also worked harder and faced more mental challenges at this new place than I have at any other. It's a new office so it's like a start-up and each individual plays a part in creating the culture and setting the standards. This has really made me grow up. It's made me learn to focus and trust myself; rely on my intelligence and capabilities much more than I had before.

I'm very proud of what I've accomplished concerning my career this year. And next year, I feel things are going to be even better.

Now, the last big thing I did was fall in love. And, even though that should have scared the hell out of me. It didn't. It still doesn't. It's big and beautiful and absolutely doing nothing but making me happier and happier. It's one of those loves that sets the bar of comparison for all things wonderful in the future.... And possibly tragic depending on how long she can put up with me but we'll see how that goes. I'm becoming much more charming in my old age.

All in all. This has been a good year. Challenging, scary, magical and wonderful... But overall... I had a really good 2014. And, come this time next year, I'm pretty sure I'll look back on it fondly.

Cheers everyone. I hope you had a good year too!