My 2014

2014 really was a pretty big and important year for me. I had to grow up in a lot of substantial ways.

It was the first time I've ever lived alone and was fully financially responsible for everything in my life.

It was the second time I ever had to leave a home of sorts.

And it was the year I found one of those incredible, poetic and novel-worthy loves.

In hindsight, it's always been the challenging times where I've actually thrived. Where I look back on all of it and think "That was an adventure that felt like a nightmare" I think most parts of this year felt that way because the foreign concept of all of the experiences was absolutely terrifying.

Living alone has taught me a great deal; most importantly that I actually can do it. I don't even like the idea of sleeping alone. Much less sleeping without someone in the house. And definitely not knowing that I may never go to sleep with someone in the house ever again. What if there are ghosts?!?

But I did learn to go to sleep alone... I actually learned how to be good at that a long time ago. You just get a dog that will cuddle.

And I learned how to go to sleep without anyone in the house. You buy a machete from RenFest, a door chime from Walmart and you grow a pair of balls after a while that end up being so substantial that you no longer need the door chime and sometimes you even forget to lock the door. And, if you get afraid of ghosts, Gilmore Girls will usually scare them away.

Now I'm actually pretty good at living alone. I enjoy what little time I have to reflect in silence. I make sure to give Sam lots of attention. And I can be totally gross and eat stuff that falls on my shirt and no one will judge me for just saying 'fuck' it and leaving it there.

So, yeah. Fear conquered and personal growth acquired.

Leaving my first real big-girl job was a little more difficult. The Gilmore Girls couldn't really do much for me with that. I was making less than an assistant manager at a gas station and the company was no longer going in the direction that I had been passionate about. Literally and figuratively. The office was moving further away and I couldn't afford to work there anymore.

Leaving there was like leaving home and family. Because I spent enough time in that office to call it home and the people inside were family in my eyes. It was very difficult to let go and think about how I wouldn't see them every day. Wouldn't have time for happy hours anymore. Wouldn't have the delicious meat wraps from the office building cafe.

Luckily I walked into a great group of people at my new job. I managed to keep contact from time to time with my old friends and make some new ones. I've also worked harder and faced more mental challenges at this new place than I have at any other. It's a new office so it's like a start-up and each individual plays a part in creating the culture and setting the standards. This has really made me grow up. It's made me learn to focus and trust myself; rely on my intelligence and capabilities much more than I had before.

I'm very proud of what I've accomplished concerning my career this year. And next year, I feel things are going to be even better.

Now, the last big thing I did was fall in love. And, even though that should have scared the hell out of me. It didn't. It still doesn't. It's big and beautiful and absolutely doing nothing but making me happier and happier. It's one of those loves that sets the bar of comparison for all things wonderful in the future.... And possibly tragic depending on how long she can put up with me but we'll see how that goes. I'm becoming much more charming in my old age.

All in all. This has been a good year. Challenging, scary, magical and wonderful... But overall... I had a really good 2014. And, come this time next year, I'm pretty sure I'll look back on it fondly.

Cheers everyone. I hope you had a good year too!

Gold's Gym's Stride Trainer is Really a Pride Strainer

After a few weeks of owning this machine, I have but one goal: to use it until it breaks and throw a party to dismantle it with baseball bats in a fit of rage fueled vengeance. If any of my neighbors happen to be awake in the wee hours of the morning when I use it, they must think that I am a big fan of demeaning hate-sex given the amount of times that "You like that, you bitch?" comes out of my mouth in reference to this device. Once it is fully battered beyond submission, I plan to take the remains and dump them outside a gym of its namesake so they can have their Satan spawn back. All of it, save one part: the battery powered digital screen that mocks me with fervor every session. That will be mounted on my wall like a dead animal after a grueling hunt.

Because putting it on a stake in my front yard would just be overboard and tasteless.

Let me make it make it very clear that my expectations of this piece of fitness equipment were not over reaching given both the price and the fact that it was available at Walmart. I understood that this machine would not feel as stable, have as many features or last as long as professional gym equipment.

That being said, let me explain just how crappy this hunk of junk is.

First, the best workout I've gotten from it was putting it together. Not even the most sadistic engineers from the bowels of IKEA hell could have imagined the hand cramping torture of putting together a massive piece of machinery with nothing more than allen wrenches. It took hours, the manual was not well thought out and my hands nearly went numb from all the screwing. And NOT in the good way.

The first experience using this device was kind of what I expected. It was awkward and not as sleek as the equipment in the gym but I was ok with the purchase as a whole. I know I got what I paid for.

By the third use things were different. I could absolutely tell that this monstrosity was failing. There was creaking, popping, thumping and the rocking of the front base was far more than it should be. The thing is already falling apart.

I am not over the weight limit and I am respecting the integrity of something that was put together by a novice in Swedish building form.

It's legitimately just a piece of shit meant to take your money much like Gold's Gym is known for anyway.

$250 divided out by 12 months is almost exactly $20/months. You can get a gym membership at most affordable fitness centers for that price and access to far more than a shoddy built 'stride trainer' that will absolutely not make it 12 months with even once a week of regular use.

Do yourself a favor bypass this snake oil sale. 

Why the OUAT Fanbase Should be More Like the NFL Fanbase (and Vice Versa)

Ok, I'll make no bones about it. I'm a big fan of the hit ABC series Once Upon a Time.

Like, a big fan. Huge. Huge to the point that my non-Oncer friends basically just want me to shut up about it and my Oncer friends are now extensions of my soul. That kind of huge. This show is crack. And to be honest, past Season 1, it's not exactly the greatest television experience on prime time. But I love it that much. A lot of Oncers do. We suffer through crappy story lines, lazy characterization, bad CGI and and plot holes the size of Texas.

Why? 

Because in the very first episode, when we all watched that clock start working again, we felt something magical. And any adult will tell you that magic is precious. It's something that falls away with the disappointment, the monotony and the heartbreak of life. So, when you find it, you tend to hold on to that shit.

I am not a pro-football fan. Like, at all.

The closest I ever come to football is throwing back cold ones and scarfing some wings when my friends watch the college stuff... Where, when you do bad things in real life, you don't get off so easy.

So, I don't know much about the NFL in general... With the exception of what I see on the news concerning the players and, now convicts involved.

Drug abuse, domestic violence, rape, dog-fighting, and outright murder. 

Now, before any of you start jumping down my throat about this being the exception, not the rule, let me just say that NOT EVERY PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL PLAYER IS A BAD PERSON.

Plenty of players in the NFL make it a point to do good things for the world like donating to charity, mentoring kids and leading very socially accepted moral lives. You go Tim Tebow!

But, these are men who are paid to knock the shit out of each other on the field and then praised for it. You can't expect that this kind of environment will always take in, and churn out, the greatest societal individuals.

They are modern day Gladiators and we are the Romans in the coliseum.

Having said that. This post isn't about pitting one fan base against another. It's about realizing what we can learn to be better fans all around from each other.

The Once Upon a Time fandom is one of the most wonderful and terrible that I've ever seen. I'm not kidding. This show about fucking fairy tales creates within its viewers heroes and monsters of all sorts. 

Most of it revolves around this thing we call 'ships'. No, not like the Jolly Roger. I'm talking about relationships; and the ones we all back as our OTP (One True Pairing).

To bring this back to the analogy, our ships are like our favorite football team.

I'm a SwanQueen and TinkerQueen fan, in case anybody was wondering.

But there are lots more. Rum(p)Belle, OutlawQueen and CaptainSwan, just to name a few.

So, what happens in Once Upon a Time is people get so obsessed with their OTP that they basically devolve as people and turn into hate mongers and internet trolls if they don't get what they want on-screen. 

They even attack the actors sometimes: people who have no say, and probably no care, in what specifically happens to their romantic story lines past maybe thinking that it's cute or not wanting to kiss the guy with garlic breath.

Now, like football players, Once Upon a Time fans do not all turn into obsessive, self-important, annoying virtual bullies. A lot of us just like to picture our OTP kissing and get excited when they're on-screen together.

But the trolls exist and they form in massive quantities with the soul purpose of taking out every disappointment they've ever had in life on the writers, actors and other fans. And it's really sad, hurtful and ultimately the exact opposite of everything this show is supposed to be about. 

See, football fans can look at one of the players on their team doing truly heinous stuff and kinda just be pissed that their actions might jeopardize the overall performance of the team. The level of disgust I see within the football community over the crimes of its players is pretty minimal. 

But Jennifer Morrison can tweet a picture of a butterfly and that will somehow enrage SwanQueen, CaptainSwan and SwanFire fans so much that they have a social media meltdown.

So, if I might give my opinion of where these two should meet, (and I will because this is my blog) I'd like to say it's at that ambiguous part of life that we all tend to steer clear of: the middle.

Football fans need to be less dismissive and more critical of players on their own teams.

Once Upon a Time fans need to learn to take a chill pill and let it all the fuck go. Or at least stop acting like thirteen year old spoiled children that should have had their iPhones plucked from their hands after the first 100 stalker tweets they made. 

I love people who love stuff. I love my Oncer family and I love the guy with face paint and cheese on his head screaming with joy because his team won the World Series. (don't freak out, I know that's a basketball reference)

But, when something you love makes you hate, it's turning into a bad thing.

And when something you love makes you look the other way when it comes to violence, it's also turning into a bad thing.

The point: Let's all try to not turn into monsters. 

By action or though acquiescence. 

And, oh yeah...