Last week I bought two games from my local Game Stop: BulletStorm and Deadly Premonition. BulletStorm was great for the first five minutes of figuring out that I was actually rewarded for shooting people in the nuts. Then I was over it. This weekend I decided to give some attention to Deadly Premonition. My waiting a week to start the game had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that my best friend was actually in town this weekend. I'm certainly not afraid to play scary games in a house all by myself. (Note pussified sarcasm)
Here's the trailer to Deadly Premonition
Not exactly a warm and fuzzy romp through the forest with crazy mushrooms to pounce upon. The thing about Deadly Premonition is that it's probably one of the worst games out there. Within seconds of seeing the intro I was bemoaning the graphics that were almost as shitty as a first gen Xbox title. Then there was the ridiculous main character and his schizophrenic relationship with me. But worst of all were the super outdated combat mechanics. Part shitty FPS, part top down Resident Evil ONE blundering, this game was destined for failure.
Why did I keep playing it?
I have no idea. I think it was just the ridiculous notion that the game was even published that spurred me on. I just kept waiting to find one redeeming quality in a effort to justify not only my purchase, but the games existence.
About an hour in my BFF Jen entered the room and asked me about it. I told her that it sucked and she concurred. But I kept playing, she kept watching and we both alternated between laughing at the atrocious dialogue and holding our breath through the frustrating, yet terrifying combat. This game was bad/good and we were under its spell.
I think it was around the 8th hour of game play (we literally only stopped for Wendy's and booze) that I injured myself. That, dear readers, is missing skin.
You may be asking how my special needs ass managed this. Well, the answer is simple. During one assanine chase scene through a lumber mill, you are required to make the main character run by rapidly moving the left analog stick from left to right. My left thumb just wasn't getting the job done, but I found that if quickly passed my palm over the rubber pad, I could move things along fast enough. And it did end up working. My character made it out unscathed. My hand, however, did not. It lost a nice chunk of skin.
The thing is, I wanted to continue playing. One Wall-E band-aid...
... And a little gauze later... (Thank god we had that Grey's Anatomy party!)
And I was ready to go again! So was Sam.
The moral of the story here is that being a video game dork can be dangerous business. Sometimes the rewards come at a price. I can now safely say that I've given blood, sweat and tears to my proud gaming past. I could possibly have a scar to prove it. So, before you pick up that next exciting title, make sure you know that the cost doesn't end with the price tag.
And make sure to invest in gauze. BATTLE WOUND SELF SHOT!
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