Zak Bagans: Geek God

Right now I'd like to give a shout out to the buffest geek in an Ed Hardy t-shirt: Zak Bagans.

Zak is the kick-ass host of Ghost Adventures, but he's not just a TV personality. He's a frakin hero.

Zak mans-up every episode, exploring the most haunted locations in the world and enduring torturous obstacles such as demon scratches, possession and clowns. He goes to all lengths to call out malevolent spirits on their asshole behavior toward the living, and has captured some of the most compelling evidence in the field. And unlike other Roto Rooting ghost busters, who shall remain nameless, Zak looks like a juicehead straight off the shore.

Ghost Adventures truly is one of my favorite guilty pleasures and the show would be nothing without its charismatic and sometimes douchey host. His hair alone is a constant topic of conversation in my world as it defies every law of gravity ever stated. The days of the bra

in conjuring up images of a lanky, pimple faced, dungeon master, whenever the word 'geek' is uttered, are over now. Zak proves that even geeks, who talk to themselves inside moldy basements, can get laid.

I'm totally going as him for Halloween. Just gotta chunk down and figure out the right mixture for my hair.

I've already started working on the spikefest.

Zak's crazy bangs:

My crazy bangs:

The things we do when we're drunk.

Anne Hathaway + Catwoman = ?

And by "?" I don't mean the Riddler. News of the Devil Wears Prada star landing the role of one of the most pivotal female characters in Gotham was all over the net yesterday with die-hard Batman geeks either praising or despising the casting choice. So naturally, as yet another Batman geek, I had to weigh in as well.

Here are a few reasons why I'm not enraged.

1. Chris Nolan, after casting Heath Ledger as the Joker, REALLY deserves the benefit of the doubt. Almost everyone I knew was extremely hesitant about that one. I was a kid when Tim Burton nearly permanently soldered Jack Nicholson as the Joker into my brain. But Ledger was excellent. So much so that I still take pause when considering which actor truly defines the role for me at this point.

2. Anne Hathaway may seem saccharine sweet, but anyone who's seen the movie havoc knows she can do 'naughty' just fine. Her acting chops are some of the best of her age group and after seeing her take on stronger roles like the ones she landed in Brokeback Mountain and Rachel Getting Married, I trust that she at least has the ability to pull off the darker side of the character.

3. It could have been worse. Can you imagine Tara Reid bumbling around with a whip and a cat suit? There may have been choices that are better suited to each fans personal taste, but I'd put Anne Hathaway on my list of top ten actresses age 25-35.

4. Halle Berry already hit the bottom of that barrel.

Yet, with the good comes the bad. Here are some reasons I'm not so hot about the idea.

1. If Anne Hathaway ruins Catwoman, she will be dead to me. And I love Anne Hathaway. But I also loved Maggie Gyllenhaal before seeing her atrocious performance in The Dark Knight. I honestly wanted to slap a baby every time she was on screen. Now, it's difficult for me to get excited whenever I see her name in the credits of anything.

2. I really do think Michelle Pfeiffer is a tough act to follow. If you can take away the mellow dramatic voice she seemed to slap on in an over-the-top kind of way, she really did pull off the crazy. And she looked damn good in that cat suit.

3. I think Mila Kunis, though less apt for the roll, would have been way hotter.

Will Hathaway be able to pull it off? I hope so. But if you think you can cast the role better, let me know. I'd love to hear some alternate perspectives.

Google Chromium OS

As a lame-ass Vista user, I've been foaming at the mouth for the chance to jump on a new (and reasonably priced) operating system. I've got Windows 7 at work, and while it is much improved from it's crappy predecessor, I'm not going to shell out any more money to Microsoft after I got the shaft on their last OS. So, when I heard that Google was going to be working on an operating system, my ears perked up. I've already switched from Firefox to Chrome simply because it's faster and better laid out for my web surfing style. The thought that Google might bring this simplistic design straight to the software heart of my computer made me jump for joy.

Then I heard that it was an internet/browser based system. Now, don't get me wrong here. This will work GREAT for a whole lot of people. There will be less clutter, less data loss, and less time spent figuring out what to do while your computer boots up. It's an awesome idea and they aren't making any bones about marketing it as is. All of your data is saved on the web. You don't have to worry about getting a hoss of a hard drive to save all your shit and you don't have to worry about a virus that wipes the entire system and destroys your precious Dr. Who fan fiction.

But then there's that whole idea of privacy.

Now, I'm nowhere near a conspiracy nut, but I also don't want all my shit out there for anyone with limited hacking skills having the ability to access. The idea of nothing being secretive anymore has already been played out via Facebook, but at least you know that if you don't save that drunken picture of yourself to your page, it won't be there in the morning. With Chromium, everything is saved in cyberspace and that makes it fair game for cyberspace.

Having said all that, Chromium will be perfect for the exact audience it's trying to pitch to: the casual web browser, AKA old people and the otherwise technologically handicap. Take things any further than that and the idea of security goes right out the window. And that is one of the few things that would be shittier than Vista.

But I'm totally gonna take it for a test drive once it hits the internet. You can't beat a free OS made by some of the best in the biz.

5 Geek Fails of 2010

Although 2010 was filled with some great geek moments, it was also filled with ones that went straight to the shitter. Here are the top five fails that served to piss me off.

1. Iron Man 2

When the first Iron Man flick was released I went to see it grudgingly. I wasn't a fan of the comics or even the entire concept, but surprisingly high reviews helped part me from my 12 bucks at the theater. I ended up loving the film. Robert Downey Jr. took what could have been a hack-super hero character and turned it into something of substance. So I was pretty excited about Iron Man 2. It had Don Cheadle, Mickey Rourke and Scarlett Johansson joining the cast, and that certainly didn't hurt its chances. But they fucked up on so many levels for me that I am simply choosing to pretend it was all just a bad dream. It certainly seemed like one. There was a villain that made no connection with the audience, a hot chick that was pretty much there just to look hot, and waaaayyyyy too much fucking Pepper! Even Robert Downey Jr.'s performance was over done for me. It's great that he's a drunken man whore, but he's also a bad ass. How bout we skip the parlor tricks and just let the subtleties speak for themselves? But what pisses me off more than anything is that I cannot justify purchasing the DVD, thus leaving my collection incomplete. And I really hate that shit.

2. The New Digg

Dear lord baby Jesus this had everyone's panties in a twist. So much so, that I almost left it off the list because I'm so sick of all the fucking whining. But, it was a major pain in the ass and I'd be remiss if I didn't at least point out that fact. Error messages were running rampant, the design was atrocious, and the bury button was taken away completely. Thankfully, most of the issues have been addressed and that could be due to the massive revolt of Digg users posting Reddit links all over the front page.

3. The Badge Lines at DragonCon

Simply put; there has to be a better way to do this. People who choose to preregister for Dragon Con are forced to stand outside the hotel, while those who choose to pay at the door have a much quicker and easier time of securing their badge. This is only compounded by the fact that the staff guiding people to the correct lines DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE FUCKING DOING! This is the second year in a row I've been sent to, and stood in, the wrong fucking line for an hour. Seriously, I know that the con is going to be crowded, I accept that I have to wait, but how 'bout you all get your shit together and make some kind of effort to not piss off the people who put money in your pocket. And don't even get me started on the pathetically power-hungry badge Nazis.

4. Bret Favre

Here's a little something for the sports geeks out there. There are few things more embarrassing than getting caught sending naked pictures of yourself to some chick who's suing you for harassment. One thing that is more embarrassing is the whole world finding out how small your junk is. Poor Brett Favre probably suffered from a whole lot of women lying to him about being average. That's the only way I can see someone of his celebrity ever taking a picture of his penis and sending it to anyone... ever. The harassment suit was quickly forgotten by the general public as they couldn't really mention the issue without focusing in on the poor guys short-comings. But the jokes... they were priceless.

5. The iPhone 4 Antenna

Paying a few hundred dollars for a phone that doesn't make calls when you touch it is enough to piss most people off. Having the company that made the phone deny that the problem exists can make even a sniveling Apple fanboy recant his undying support. Sure they finally caved and gave out a bunch of free cases, but they then dropped that offer and started denying the problem AGAIN! Apple has never really been known for giving a shit about customer complaints, but this kind of neglect should have been enough to make Steve Jobs get on his knees and beg forgiveness. Luckily for him people are more concerned with not being 'the guy that doesn't have an iPhone' than purchasing something that doesn't work and being called a liar when they say so. Dicks!

What are some of your favorite fails of 2010? Leave me a comment and let me know.

The New Year: Just another excuse to start a blog.

So after whoring my somewhat witty ass out to other blog sites that profited from my potty mouth, I decided to break free from the soul affirming (or crushing) comments that once fed my ego and venture on to a medium that could possibly feed my mouth. Granted I'd only be munching on the culinary masterpiece that is a chili cheese burrito but hey, we're in a recession.

Mmmm... chili cheese burrito.

Of course to make the aforementioned pocket change in a blog one needs readers, and to garner readers one needs to say something interesting enough to warrant a click. While I can't always promise I'll be interesting, I can always promise I'll be me. And that constitutes a train wreck of hypocrisy, mediocre queries, foul chatter and offensive sentiment. So let's start this blog off with something that's sure to at least warrant a scroll through: lists.

My 5 Favorite Geek-Outs of 2010:

1. The Rise of Reddit

I've got absolutely nothing against Digg. I'm a long-time fan of the

site and a faithful viewer of Diggnation. But I'm also a sucker for this little guy to the left. While digg.com may be sleeker and more popular, Reddit simply has way more interesting shit going on next to those up and down arrows. It took a new site design and some tough calls from Kevin Rose to make me finally give the site a chance because, I'll admit, I liked the way Digg looked and performed better. However, after spending the last few months digging deep into Reddit I've found more content that piques my interest than what I get when I make my daily perusal of Digg. Although I still continue to use both sites, it's nice to just one more way to shirk off my corporate duties.

2. Saving the world... again.

I know it's been a while, but try to think back to a time when you weren't checking the forums for news of Mass Effect 3, and instead were amassing a team of specialists to help you save the world from the dark forces that would destroy it. The first installment of the series blew me away. The second felt like partnering up with an old friend to create new memories that you know are going to kick ass. When the credits were rolling I was looking for my copy of the original title because I couldn't wait to play through both games

in a different way. It was just that good.

3. Kick Ass

Every comic book nerd worth their salt has thought about it; Kick Ass just did it with a sharp-tongued child stealing the show. With the comedic timing of a Greg Mottola flick and the heroic pacing of the non-shitty Batman flicks, Kick Ass made me remember exactly why we love vigilantes so much. With one scene I got chill bumps at the idea that some things are worth fighting for because of the fact that people are laughing at you, not despite it. Dave was just like us. He read comics, beat off to porn, and got his ass handed to through out most of the movie. But he had enough heart to continue on. And, in the end, he got the hot chick.

4. Antoine Dodson

So awesome you need to hide your kids, hide your wife.

5. The Raping of the Prequels

It's one thing to say that the Star Wars prequels are shit and Lucas should write a personal letter of apology to all of his fans if for nothing more than subjecting us to Jar Jar Binks. Even most casual fans would add that some self flagellation ought to be thrown in as well. But it's another thing all-together to give senior thesis-like attention to just how bad you want to shove a hot poker up the ass of said creator. Harry S. Plinkett should be given an honorary doctorate for his hilarious review that takes us so far into the depths of the prequels that you'll wonder if he skipped jokes about what little Anakin had for breakfast, just to save time.

Now, of course, these are just my favorite geeky nuggets of 2010 and I'm sure there are a whole lot more to be mentioned. Feel free to tell me I sucked for forgetting about something and I might concede you were right before calling you a douche-bag who needs to get a life from the comfort of my own home. To find out what I though sucked balls about 2010, come back tomorrow and I might have a little something for you if I haven't gotten too sucked into work or Fable III.