My Biggest Hopes for Mass Effect 3

I remember the first time I started my journey aboard the Normandy with this customizable character named Shepard. I made her into a badass version of myself. The kind of brave, crass, attractive chick I’ve always wanted to be. I loved helping this intricate avatar make all the decisions I would if given the chance. BioWare truly understands how to immerse you into a world upon pressing the play button. Shepard’s creation, movements, and commands were easy to pick up and run with, right away.

After hours on end of making progress with combat, communication and quests, all of my efforts were rewarded with the chance to embark on my own missions with the Normandy as my vessel to command. It was after I’d chosen the tone of my pep-talk and set out on my own to defend the galaxy that I realized Mass Effect was so much more than just a game, it was an experience like nothing I’d ever garnered from the FPS days of my past.

Mass Effect 2 did not disappoint either. There was a lot of doubt in the back of my mind after witnessing the events of the first few minutes, but after I’d just allowed myself to flow with the game, instead of against it, I was right back in the action and glad to be there. With a few tweaks to game play, and character depth that rivaled its predecessor, Mass Effect 2 captivated its audience and kept the pace fresh with new gameplay mechanics. It was also one of the very few games I’ve ever played that made me want to pop in the first installment within minutes of finishing. It simply blew my mind how much my decisions from the first game effected the way the sequel played, and I absolutely had to see what would happen if different choices were made.

Now that we’ve been teased with a trailer for Mass Effect 3 and Game Informer has offered up a huge first look, it’s difficult to contain the excitement that will only be satisfied in the last few months of the year. Here is my list of the top five things I want to see in Mass Effect 3:

1. Some serious Council comeuppance. These motherfuckers have served as the biggest pain in my balls since the moment I first stood before them. I want to see Shepard rise above them in a way that doesn't involve the rest of the world getting all pissy.

2. Better fuckin minigames. Seriously, if I have to troll planets with a rover, or scan them with probes just so I can get enough minerals to advance my armor, I’m not going to be happy… No matter how fun it was to listen to Tricia Helfer spout off “Probe away” every time I did said scanning.

3. More girl on girl action. What? I’m a lesbian and a geek. This was required by law to go on the list.

4. Balanced weapon/skill/armor customization. The first one was far too in depth with all the D&D style points you could place wherever you wanted. The second one was so sparse with the control the player could have, that I longed for the old system. Let’s really pull a Goldilocks on this one, boys and make that shit juuuuuust right.

5. Validation for Shepard. It’s hard to save the entire fucking universe and then have a bunch of ungrateful bitches complain about how their side of the fence isn’t as green as the other guys since you saved their sorry asses. It’s harder yet to do that shit twice, and I’ll go ahead and assume that Shepard is going to get a lot of flack for not helping out every weakling he/she could before saving the day. At the end of the game, I want a major sense of appreciation to come Shepard’s way.

The great thing about BioWare is that they tend to deliver even when they don’t. I didn’t end up getting everything I wanted out of Mass Effect 2, but that allowed me to enjoy a lot of other things that I hadn’t even thought of. To say the least, I’m along for this ride all the way to the end. I want action, devastation, laughter, tears, sex, joy, pain and everything I haven’t dared hope for from a game.

Are you as psyched as I am about ME3? Drop me a line and let me know what you’re most looking forward to.

Lesbian and the Geek

Lesbian trends have gone through quite a few changes as the decades have done their dance of time. In the 60’s and 70’s they were bra burning feminists making a stand for all of woman-kind. In the 80’s they were mullet-wearing sports nuts who made the fashion of the time seem even more deplorable. In the 90’s they were crunchy, hippie Lilith Fairies who’s passions included peasant shirts and powerbeads.

Today’s lesbians tend to define themselves in a fashion that used to be looked down upon by all parties. Geeks truly have established themselves in this new generation, but nowhere is geekdom perceived more as a turn on than in the lesbian community. The average straight girl doesn’t get her jollies off thinking about the cast of The Big Bang Theory, but you put an episode of fourth season Buffy on at a party full of dykes and you’ll have the crowd creaming their pants over Willow and Tara’s magic tricks in no time.

Spend a little time on the Girls seeking Girls section on Ok Cupid and one word that constantly pops up is ‘geek’. Geek is the new “I’m laid back” or “I’m just a down-to-earth girl.” To be completely honest, I won’t really consider dating a girl if she isn’t a geek in some way, because that’s what I’m attracted to. There’s even a correlation linking how desirable your profile is based on what fandoms you might be into. While Star Trek and Xena are on a bit of a downswing, putting Dr. Who or Buffy on your list of favorite TV shows is the lesbian equivalent of a straight guy saying his biggest influence in life is Edward Cullen.

But how did this happen? When did the socially awkward lesbian who finds solace in Marion Zimmer Bradley become a hot date?

Probably when we all started to realize that geek culture has allowed more opportunity for queer characters to enter their ranks. Sci-fi/Fantasy producers noticed early on that there was an large market of homosexuals getting into their stuff. Some of the first gay fanfiction ever written was based on Star Trek the original series. From there slash-fiction became a staple of nearly every Science Fiction program out there. Xena/Gabrielle, Buffy/Faith, Starbuck/Rosalyn… it’s all out there. And the powers that control our favorite mediums of entertainment understand that. Gay subtext can be found in even the most unlikely of places, but it draws in the intended audience and gets them to talk about their favorite new shows.

But past the obvious geekery, there’s a mountain of other stuff to geek out about. Music nerds, foodies, gamers… Having at least one obsession promotes the fact that you’re passionate about something and, in the end, I think that’s really what the lesbian population gets off on. So while opening a conversation with “I’m an aspiring singer song writer” may not go as far today as “I was once on an elevator with David Tennant” it’s cut from the same cloth. But, damn, am I glad to be a lesbian during a time when a pair of glasses and a fanfiction pen name are favorable traits. Long live the lezzy geek!